N.A.S.A.

N.A.S.A.

The Big Bang

Spectrophonic, 2010

www.myspace.com/nasa

This is essentially a remix of 2009's Spirit of Apollo. I didn't really like that record, so I don't like this one. The only exceptions would be the Boombotz remix of "Whachadoin?" and the Treasure Fingers Epicwave remix of "Gifted". So basically, I listen to track five and six and then turn this s**t off. It's more of that hipster club stuff which, I'll admit, can be done well in the right hands (Spank Rock, Justice, LCD Soundsystem) and is atrocious when done poorly (N.A.S.A., Sleigh Bells, Diplo). It just feels.. dated. I mean, didn't Santigold's record drop in early '08? I would skip this one if I were you.

Caribou

Caribou

Swim

Merge, 2010

www.caribou.fm

www.mergerecords.com

I really don't like this. To me, this is almost unlistenable. However, the opening track "Odessa" is amazing. Really, really amazing. It almost makes up for the remainder of the record. Almost. It's like an early 80's dance track and Daniel Snaith's voice is tolerable, which is not the case for the rest of the tracks here with vocals. "Odessa" shows how great this album could have been if Snaith would just reign himself in a bit and not confuse creativity with grandiosity. It's probably one of my favorite songs this year even. Too bad the rest of the album is s**t. Yuck.

Ra Ra Riot

Ra Ra Riot

The Orchard

Barsuk, 2010

http://www.rarariot.com/

http://www.barsuk.com/

I could have taken the seven dollars I spent on this MP3 album and spent it on a bottle of Tylenol PM and cheeseburger Hot Pockets instead. I would have felt the same afterwards: half-asleep, nauseous, disgusted, yet unfulfilled. Download "Boy" and skip the rest of this. Buh Buh Boring.

Ace & Edo

Ace & Edo

Arts & Entertainment

Traffic (The Orchard), 2009

http://www.mastaace.com/

Look, I'm a huge Masta Ace fan. SlaughtaHouse and Disposable Arts are absolutely classic hip hop records. He's worked with the best of the best in hip hop, was a member of Juice Crew and has influenced countless MC's including none other than Eminem. I would even argue that he's one of the greatest MC's of all time. Edo G is a legend in his own right as well. So, that being said, why is this record absolute s**t?

Where do I begin. How about the skits. Yes, the pitfall of all hip hop records is in full effect here with countless, unnecessary, unfunny skits. Making it worse are the nature of the skits. The premise is that a black couple are watching TV and comment in between the songs on the songs. Not such a bad idea in and of itself, except for the fact that the "characters" are so self-stereotyping that they make "Tyler Perry's House of Payne" seem like Amistad.

Then there's the songs. They're far below average for these guys. With the exception of "Little Young" these songs are all throwaways. And that brings us to "Dancing Like a W.G." aka "Dancing Like a White Girl." Set to a house beat, the song describes the inability of intoxicated white girls to dance. For like four minutes. I get it. It's a joke. I understand what's being described and I can relate. But no need for an entire full-length track.

It's always depressing when an artist you respect puts out total garbage, but this is mortifying. It's definitely disposable but hardly art.

The Gaslight Anthem

The Gaslight Anthem
American Slang
Side One Dummy, 2010
http://www.gaslightanthem.com/
http://www.sideonedummy.com/

Full disclosure here. The first song, "American Slang", is tolerable. The rest is garbage. Think Springsteen, Petty, Mellencamp and Against Me!, but not as good as any of them or the sum of their parts. The lyrics are self-important and Brian Fallon says "baby" when referring to a woman in almost every song. I hate that. Only R&B singers can pull that off. These guys, if they stick around, will no doubt inherit Springsteen's arenas full of fifty-something-year-old corporate executives who let loose by droppng eight dollars on a small plastic cup of cheap beer and swaying awkwardly to the songs that remind them of their "glory days" as their children watch in horror. Does every rock band from New Jersey (it's called the BEACH) have to sound like Springsteen? This just sounds like a blatant rip off to me. Jesus, I'll take Mike "The Situation" over this..

Heartsounds

Heartsounds
Until We Surrender
Epitaph, 2010
www.myspace.com/heartsoundsband
http://www.epitaph.com/

Yes, I still listen to pop punk every once in a while. It's one of my few vices these days. After a long day at work, I may partake in a little Screeching Weasel. Who are you to judge me?

But this is not a good album even by pop punk standards, and those standards are about as low as BP's stock prices right now. The guy and girl that share guitar and vocal duties in this band were apparently in a "melodic death metal band" before they realized their true calling of playing in Heartsounds. Hmmm.

The first three songs on this record might make it as filler on my "Music to Clean the Garage To" mix CD just because they have a decent melody. And if this kind of music doesn't have melody, then its got nothing. You certainly can't turn to the lyrical content. It's the standard fare for this genre. Half of the songs on here are about these guys/girls getting dumped. The other half are about trying to patch things up with the person that dumped him/her, and failing. Maybe if you weren't in a band called Heartsounds, failed relationships wouldn't be such a prominent part of your life. But I can only speculate. Maybe they smell.

Sleigh Bells

Sleigh Bells

Treats

Mom & Pop Music, 2010
www.myspace.com/sleighbellsmusic
www.infinitybells.com

I want nothing more than to tell you how bad this album is. I want to tell you that this is a perfect example of what is wrong with new music, and how it's blown up by people who are more concerned with image than substance. I want to do that.

And I can. This is not good. Sleigh Bells are probably one of the most over-hyped indie acts around at the moment. Basically, what they do is take programmed beats and crank them to an ungodly volume, add bowel-emptying bass and 80's metal riffs, and lay female sing-song vocals over it. It's a novelty. Kind of like the first time I heard Apathy rap over "Seven Nation Army", it's slightly clever at first. But it wears off faster than waterproof suntan lotion. The problem is that this is just a gimmick, and once you get past that gimmick, there's not much left to appreciate. Or like.

Don't waste your time. This band, and this music, has the longevity of a John Calipari basketball recruit. One and done.

E says: The audio equivalent of Silly Bandz.

L says: A couple of the songs are catchy. I can't listen to the whole album.

Amanda Blank

Amanda Blank
I Love You
Downtown, 2009
www.downtownmusic.com
www.amandablank.com

This is hard for me. When I first heard Amanda Blank on Spank Rock's single "Bump" back in 2006, I had no idea who she was. But I did know that she owned it and that my ears liked it. She was definitely the highlight of that track and pretty much every other track she appeared on. So with her solo debut, I waited with anticipation to discover what kind of lyrical gymnastics and debauchery she would drop next.
What I heard as I listened to the first track of I Love You was the song featured in a recent McDonald's commercial. Ouch. After that, it was something like being subjected to the tracks that Santigold passed on. That's right. Not good enough for Santigold.
That should tell you something. The beats are predictable and dated (thanks Diplo) and there's hardly any actual rapping. Most of it is back-tracking over ground already ravaged by M.I.A. and Peaches six or more years ago. The obvious low point here is a whole song about make-up, with shout outs to eyeliner nonetheless (isn't this a Vanity 6 song?).
For anyone who didn't know already, this is a pop record and that's apparently what she was aiming for. All the qualities that made her so refreshing in the past are noticeably absent. If you're familiar with her at all, you know she can be pretty raunchy. Raunchy in a good way. Sexuality is a big part of her image so naturally that's what I expected to hear. Not quite. The dirtiest it gets is the occasional "get up in it", blah blah blah, "let's sleep together", yadda yadda yadda. It wouldn't make even the most insecure middle-schooler blush.
Amanda Blank is a MC. A talented MC. To be fair, there are a couple (literally) of good songs here. The problem is that she admittedly went in a different direction. People do it all the time. But sometimes that "different" direction is a bad one. A very bad one. Like when Jordan tried baseball. Leave radio pop-rock to Katy Perry and stick with what you know. Especially if you're good at it.

E says: Download "Something Bigger, Something Better" and call it a day.

L says: Disappointing and I don't like songs about make-up or love. I still play it in the car though.